Why do kids overshare online? Insights from a child psychologist
By sharing more we can prevent oversharing
Your children should know that there are reasons for not sharing too much information online. There are several risks that come along with posting on social media, such as:
While being online comes with several risks, however, try not to alarm your child too much or make the internet seem scary. On the contrary, try to reassure your children that they may have significant control over the situation once they learn how to share wisely. When they behave safely and share cautiously, the internet can be a fun space.
Instead of simply ordering your children not to post something, try to explain the reasoning behind your rules. You should also stay open and listen to the reasons why your children’s desire to share something. For instance, when they feel excited about an upcoming vacation, they may feel the need to tell their online friends. In this situation, you should carefully explain why posting this information can be risky and offer your child alternatives – such as letting them post photos from the vacation after they return or encouraging them to share this news with their closest friends. Be a good role model to your children, consider their desires, and strive to make their social media experience safe and fun.
There are many social media platforms and each of them offers different options for creating and sharing content. Before becoming active on their social media profiles, your children should get familiar with the settings and principles of the apps, and know how to:
Once they know how to manage the different settings of the apps, your children will be able to use the platforms with greater confidence and avoid unintentionally sharing something they didn’t want to or regretting their posts later.
Even though children can adjust their settings to private mode, or even retroactively delete a post, it is always better to think twice before sharing. Your children should view the internet as a universe of opportunities, but also as a space with a long memory and vast reach. To keep their online and offline lives secure, children should avoid sharing sensitive pictures of themselves or others, but also their private information, such as their address, location, or daily schedule.
Before you allow your children to be active on social platforms, give it a dry run. Your child can create a private social media profile that will be visible only to their closest family members. They may then explore the possibilities of the given platform and try to create their own content without sharing it with the world just yet. Together, you may discuss the posts, establish whether they contain overly personal information, and try to find ways of sharing exciting things without revealing too much. Take this as a unique opportunity for learning together and bridging generational divides on the topic of safe internet use. Work together as a team and let your child enter the social media world prepared.
Apart from sensitive data or revealing pictures, your children should also think twice before posting anything controversial or polarizing. Especially for older children, it is natural to have some opinions on topics such as politics, religion, health (be it their own or their family members), drugs, or sexuality, but these are better shared in person with a family member or a friend rather than online. How to know whether a post is too revealing or controversial? A very simple way would be telling your child to ask themselves: “Would I share this with my grandmother? And my teachers?” If the answer is “no”, then it is probably better to not post it.
In this simple exercise, invite your children to imagine they are writing a cool post. The best post ever. In their head, who are they writing it for? Is it their closest group of friends? Or someone they like? They don’t need to reveal their answer, just picture these people as accurately as they can. Now, tell them to imagine all their online friends or followers, even those they don’t know that well. How does it feel, knowing that these people will also view their posts? This exercise is helpful both to children and adults, as we sometimes forget that our posts have a great reach, and they won’t be seen only by those that are on our minds when we create them.
In some cases, your children may accidentally share sensitive information without even knowing it. For instance, by posting a selfie from their room with a window in the back, they may be revealing where they live. Similarly, taking a picture of a drawing with their notice board in the back may uncover their school schedule. Teach your children to think not only of the main object of their posts but also of the background.
Ideally, children should refrain from sharing their activities in real time. Posts such as “I’m at the park right now” can be potentially risky, especially if shared on a public profile. Rather, teach your kids to document interesting moments, but only post them once they are in a safe place. This way, they can express themselves without exposing too much.
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In our high-tech world, identity theft is a scary reality and, shockingly, our little ones can be the most at risk.
While the internet offers countless opportunities for learning and growth, it also poses some risk – including the possibility that cybercriminals may steal your children’s personal information. Get to know the red flags that indicate that your child may have been a victim of identity theft and find out how to safeguard your child’s online identity.