Debunking common worries about children and technology

1. Social isolation 

As children and adults progressively spend more time on their devices, our society has become increasingly worried about the possible risk of social isolation. Since children can easily interact with their friends online, their parents are worried that the motivation to meet in person may slowly diminish. Lisa Rai Mabry-Price, the associate director of school services from the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA), claims that a lack of in-person interactions can result in issues with social communication skills: “These skills are developed and honed through daily interactions and include knowing how to take turns during a conversation, using facial expressions, changing the way you speak based on the listener—such as how you talk to a baby versus an adult—and making appropriate eye contact. Such personal interactions are limited as children just passively look at a screen.” 

Read more: 5 tips for combating FOMO

But are children really as passive as Mabry-Price suggests? Mimi Ito, a cultural anthropologist who cooperates with ESET, notes the contrary, that children are actively using the new opportunities to show us how technologies can be used for empowerment: “Young people are at a period of life when they don’t have a lot of power yet, but they’re super smart and they have a lot of energy. So, when that energy gets applied to something new and experimental, they really latch onto technology as a tool for empowerment and self-expression.” 

Similarly, though parents may worry that their children will move their relationships entirely online, kids seldom use their devices as a substitute for real-life interactions; rather, they actively employ technologies to benefit their relations. When used correctly, digital devices may even strengthen the bond between your children and their friends – for instance, whenever they cannot meet in person, they can chat online or call each other. The online space also enables shy kids to overcome loneliness and meet new friends easily. There are even apps specifically meant for children with special needs, helping them find peers with similar experiences.

2. Attention span

Technologies shower children with a great variety of auditory and visual stimuli, which encourages them constantly to multitask. Children who spend too much time playing video games or spend most of their time online tend to have less of an ability to focus on a single task. It is not uncommon for parents to see their kids sitting in front of a TV watching a show, while also playing a video game or listening to a podcast while scrolling through social media. According to Dr. Richard Restak’s book, The New Brain: How the Modern Age is Rewiring Your Mind, it may be challenging for children to keep up with such a stimulating environment, which may result in difficulty focusing. National Register of Health Service Psychologists also mentions a new form of Tech ADD (Tech Attention Deficit Disorder): “The brain is trained at a young age to multi-task to such a high degree that it is unable to focus on one task or thought at a time.” Tech ADD may be experienced by children and adults alike. According to these sources, the influence of technologies may be the reason behind your child’s bad grades or reduced patience.

Read more: Smartphones doing homework. Can learning apps endanger your child’s education?

However, Dr. Sharon Horwood, a senior lecturer in the School of Psychology at Deakin University, is optimistic about the generational stability of our cognitive abilities that are now challenged by technology: “Brains have evolved to do what they do over millennia; changes to population-level cognitive function can’t happen in a single generation,” she explains. Even if your kids struggle to focus solely on one thing, this may actually benefit their education, as Western Governors University suggests: “Studies show that using technology helps young children learn how to multitask more effectively. While multitasking never allows you to fully focus on one area, students can learn how to listen and type to take notes, or other multitasking activities that can help them succeed in their future.” When used correctly, digital devices may become powerful tools for learning – even playing videogames may encourage your child’s problem-solving skills. We have to teach our children to use technology, not fear it. The term “edtech” is becoming more prominent in connection to children and technology. Teaching children that technology is not an enemy, but a useful tool can be beneficial not only to their development but also to their success in the future workforce. Additionally, Mimi Ito explains that children are gaining knowledge in new areas: “You see kids learning to code, and creating game mods and forms of technology at a younger and younger age.”

We need to realize that this technology is not going away, and children will be ever more surrounded by it. Bringing up responsible technology users is more important than ever. In order to ensure this, we need to monitor how children are using technology. A good parental control app can go a long way in helping both you and your child reach the goal of becoming an advanced technology user.

Read more: Learning by playing. What skills can your children develop through video games?

3. Parent-child relationship 

Finally, parents may be worried that technologies can harm the relationship they have with their children. According to a study conducted by Dr. Jenny Radesky, a developmental behavioral pediatrician, and Brandon T. McDaniel, a professor at Illinois State University, children may display behavioral issues under the influence of technologies, such as aggression, irritation or whining. This stresses the parent who may then “withdraw from parent-child interactions with technology and this higher technology use during parent-child interactions may influence the child’s externalizing and withdrawal behaviors over time,” leading to even more behavioral difficulties. 

Read more: Teaching children about the basics of online safety

However, Radesky also suggests that the reactive behavior some kids display may originate from other issues: “It can be that the child is reacting to not getting attention and they amp up their behavior to be able to get more of a parent reaction,” or “they’re not getting as much reciprocal play time or conversation with their parents.” Jarmila Tomková, psychologist, adds that online stimuli are very fast changing, so it may take time for a child’s brain to process the transition to offline reality. There are many possible reasons for reactive behavior in children, and as Jarmila Tomková explains, sometimes a child’s anger merely indicates that we are building necessary boundaries with them. 

If you feel that your relationship with your child is negatively affected by technology, you may well introduce more collective family habits or screen-free activities. However, while technologically driven changes in the parent-child relationship may be inevitable, this is not always for the worse. Digital devices enable children and parents to text or call each other whenever they need, which may in fact strengthen the bond between them. According to Mimi Ito, this possibility of contact can provide “immense emotional support,” and children who are just gaining their independence remaining more in touch with their home. 

Rephrasing the question

In her article, Mimi Ito explains that many parents may be asking themselves the wrong question: “Are technologies good or bad?” Ito believes that this concern needs to be rephrased: “The question assumes that technology is one thing, and all kids use technology the same way. Technology is made and shaped by us and we have the power to make it good or bad. I prefer the question, ‘How can we support young people in harnessing technology for progress?’” She also discourages parents from perceiving their children as docile consumers: “Young people are not passive victims of technology or helpless addicts. They are technology creators and agents with diverse backgrounds and interests.” While no parent should neglect caring for their children’s safety, many seemingly negative changes may be counterbalanced by the positives that come along with them. It all depends on how we use the opportunities that technology provides, and on how we encourage our children to employ these new opportunities for the better.