How are my kids interacting with social media on the daily?
Trends are great until we fall for them
Have you ever scrolled through social media and felt like you just don't measure up? Most of us have experienced this feeling. And when you're just a kid in a body that's constantly changing, it can be even harder to maintain a positive outlook on yourself. How does social media affect users' body image? And what can you do to improve your children's self-esteem?
When used with care, social media is an incredible tool for building a child's confidence. In fact, the majority of children say that social media makes them happy all or most of the time (67%) and helps them feel closer to their friends (66%). Social platforms can be a helpful socializing tool for those who struggle to make friends in the offline world – be it because they look different, have a health condition, or simply find it difficult to meet new people and build connections. Online, kids can find like-minded individuals who share their interests, passions and struggles. Being part of a community fosters a sense of belonging and support that can have a profound impact on their self-esteem. It can empower children to embrace their uniqueness to realize they're not alone in their experiences.
There are also numerous accounts on social media that offer helpful content. For instance, there are communities dedicated to promoting body positivity and self-acceptance. These platforms offer a counter-narrative to the unrealistic beauty standards perpetuated in traditional media by celebrating diverse body types, encouraging self-love and reinforcing the idea that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. This can help children reach a healthier self-perception and a greater appreciation for their own bodies.
Additionally, there are also numerous fitness enthusiasts, nutritionists and wellness advocates who provide valuable information and motivation to lead an active and balanced lifestyle. Overall, social platforms allow children to experiment with their identities, try out different styles, explore various hobbies and share their creativity with the world. These experiences can help children develop a more positive and proactive approach to their physical as well as mental well-being.
Which social media apps are most popular among teens?
(% of U.S. teens who say they ever use any of the following apps)
95% – YouTube
67% – TikTok
62% – Instagram
59% – Snapchat
32% – Facebook
23% – X (Twitter)
20% – Twitch
17% – WhatsApp
14% – Reddit
5% – Tumblr
Source: Pew Research Center, 2022
The downside of the digital mirror
Despite these positives, scrolling through social media apps and comparing oneself to other –, or worse, experiencing bullying or negative feedback about one's appearance can lead to a variety of negative emotions or behaviours. A common problem with the use of social media is that it leads to belief in unrealistic standards of beauty. Since people generally share the bright side of their life – pictures of their happiest and most beautiful moments – it may make other users feel as if their life and appearance is “less than.” Moreover, picture and video editing and altering has become extremely accessible in recent years, whether through specific editing apps, or even through easy-to-use filters that can make the user appear very different from reality. While editing posts and using pictures can be fun for the users, it can make the viewers feel as if they themselves don’t reach the same – completely fabricated – standard.
Why do children use filters?
“It’s fun.” – 27.49%
“I want to look prettier.”– 11.47%
“I want my pictures to look funny.” – 8.17%
“I want to get someone’s attention.” – 5.22%
“I want to look different than in real life.” – 5.00%
“Others use them too.” – 4.92%
Source: UPOL and O2 Czech Republic, 2022
When surrounded by captivating images and the constant stream of likes, shares and comments, it becomes easy to fall into the rabbit hole of comparison and even competition with others. Watching the numbers of likes and comments, all while yearning to see them rise, can leave your child feeling inadequate and “not good enough.” Some social media platforms, such as Facebook and Instagram, have recognized this issue and now allow users to hide the number of likes on their posts – but the actual effect of this change is questionable. Unfortunately, the appearance-centric nature of social media can sometimes promote rivalry rather than the sense of community it was originally intended to foster.
At worst, unrealistic beauty standards and the competitive environment of social media can lead to children experiencing body image issues, opting for excessive exercise, developing an unhealthy relationship with food or even suffering with anxiety and depression. This is why children need their parents to guide them – not just when it comes to digital safety, but also regarding their self-esteem. What can you do to make your child's online experience empowering, rather than upsetting?
1. Discuss media literacy: Education is the first line of defence against the pitfalls of social media. Encourage your children to question what they see online, including unrealistic beauty standards. Talk about how digitally altered images and videos can sometimes be mistaken for authentic content. Equip your children with critical thinking skills to navigate the digital landscape effectively.
2. Be a role model: Children often learn by watching the behaviour of those closest to them. Set a positive example by demonstrating responsible and mindful social media use. Showcase healthy self-esteem, respect for others and the importance of valuing character over appearance. Your actions can leave a lasting impression on your child's online behaviour.
3. Encourage kind behaviour towards others, but also oneself: Inspire your child to practice positive self-talk and remind them that their worth is not solely defined by their appearance. Promote kindness and empathy towards others both online and offline, as words and actions can have a profound impact on the well-being of others.
4. Broaden your child's perspective on what makes a person valuable: Encourage your children to pursue diverse interests, talents and skills beyond physical appearance. Help them understand that true beauty lies in being a kind, compassionate and well-rounded individual.
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder
When children spend lot of their time online, they may feel like there is a pre-set beauty standard they need to reach. What they might not know is that the entire concept of beauty changes radically with time and place. For instance, while Western cultures tend to idealize tanned skin, in other countries, such as India or Korea, having fair skin is the ultimate sign of beauty. While in the 1920s the Western beauty standard was a very thin body, only a few years previously a fuller figure was considered beautiful. Discuss these facts with your children and remind them that there is no ultimate definition of beauty. This may help them realize that the standards we often try so hard to achieve are in fact completely arbitrary.
5. Encourage active content selection: Teach your children to be discerning content consumers. Help them identify content that aligns with their interests and values. Work together to create a list of positive, inspiring, and informative accounts or pages to follow. Encourage them to unfollow or mute accounts that trigger negative emotions or unhealthy comparisons.
6. Promote active participation over passive consumption: When children engage by sharing their thoughts, passions and creative expressions online, they not only cultivate a sense of agency and self-identity, they may also receive valuable validation from their peers. Positive interactions and supportive communities can bolster their confidence and foster a sense of belonging.
7. Monitor social media use: While fostering trust and independence is crucial, it's also important to keep an eye on your child's social media activity. Understand the platforms they use and regularly check in with your children to discuss their online experiences as well as any concerns they may have. Finally, you can also set age-appropriate guidelines and boundaries for screen time – ESET Parental Control can help you with that.
