Is your child's phone making them sick?
Gadgets provide immense learning opportunities and entertainment, but they have also introduced a new challenge for parents and educators: phone addiction among children.
Together with child psychologist Jarmila Tomková, we've prepared some FAQs and common parental worries regarding excessive internet use. Find out why such habits might be problematic—after all, your children might not be the only ones in your household with these habits—and learn how to address and improve them.
1) How many hours of screen time per day are too many?
Spending more than 5 hours per day on various screens can lead to several negative consequences for your child including eye strain, sleep disruption, and decreased physical activity. It can also contribute to their social isolation and increased anxiety, particularly if much of the screen time is spent on social media or gaming online.
What can be done:
As a first step, invite your child to be a part of your team or alliance where you can both openly express your concerns. Ask your child how they are feeling, what they are doing online and what benefits it brings them. Explore what makes them happy and also what bothers them. Express your worries for them and put it in the context of their time online. Once you reach a mutual understanding, advance to setting clear limits on screen time and encouraging regular breaks (such as the 20-20-20 rule for eye strain which suggests that every 20 minutes, you should look at something 20 feet away for at least 20 seconds). Promote alternative activities like outdoor play, reading, or hobbies that don't involve screens. Creating "screen-free" zones or times, such as during meals or before bed, can also help establish healthy habits.
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2) Why does my child interrupt family activities to use screens so often?
Such behaviour indicates that screen use is becoming a priority over their real-life interactions and family bonding. It might also suggest that their digital lifestyle doesn’t have clear boundaries and instead of using their smart device mindfully, they use it obsessively. This behaviour may lead to difficulties in maintaining healthy relationships, increase social isolation, and cause friction within the family dynamic. However, the causality might go the other way as well. Is it possible that your child is escaping from difficult family situations into the online space?
What can be done:
Encourage open communication with your child about the importance of balancing screen time with meaningful, face-to-face interactions. Try to look at the situation in the broader context of your family. Do you have a good bond when spending time offline together? Has this bond been neglected only lately due to the increased online activities of your child? If so, discuss your feelings with your child. Inquire what it is that brings their attention to the online space so often. If it turns out it is a result of bad digital habits, try to agree on strategies on how to improve them.
LEARN MORE about internet addiction.
3) My child often shows signs of irritability when unable to access their smartphone or other smart device. What can I do to change that?
Irritability or frustration in such moments can be a sign of dependency or even early signs of screen addiction. Try to find out what it is that the child is really addicted to – notifications, messages or maybe online games. Those could point to, for example, FOMO. Is your child relying on screen time for emotional regulation? It might interfere with their ability to manage boredom, stress, or other emotions in healthy ways.
What can be done:
It's important to gradually introduce alternative coping mechanisms, such as hobbies, physical activities, or creative outlets, to help reduce reliance on screens. Encouraging your child to participate in regular screen-free activities and ensuring consistent routines with defined "off-screen" times can help them build resilience and emotional balance without the need for digital distraction.
4) My child hides their screen use from me.
If your child tries to hide their screen, it may indicate guilt, shame, or awareness of inappropriate behaviour, such as spending too much time online or visiting unsuitable websites. Or it might be linked to some very negative experiences such as cyber bullying or grooming.
What can be done:
It's essential to foster an environment of trust by discussing the issue of screen hiding openly and without judgment. Besides activities that could get them into trouble, your child might also be struggling with some tough peer interactions they don’t know how to deal with. Setting clear rules and expectations around screen time and internet activity can help. Parental controls can be useful, but it's equally important to educate your child on why these boundaries exist, encouraging honesty and transparency regarding their behaviour online and offline. Make sure the child understands you do not want to punish them, that you only want to understand them better and make sure they are safe and OK. You might also provide some instructive examples of situations other young people deal with and a variety of good examples on how to resolve those situations safely and happily.
5) My child is experiencing a decline in school performance lately.
Once screen use interferes with study time or sleep, it can contribute to a decline in school performance. When children prioritise screens over homework or experience fatigue from late-night screen use, their ability to concentrate and perform well in school is affected.
What can be done:
Establish structured screen-free study periods and ensure your child follows a consistent sleep schedule. Encourage them to balance their screen time with educational and extracurricular activities that promote focus and intellectual growth. Monitoring screen use and maintaining open conversations about the importance of schoolwork can help keep them on track.
LEARN MORE about parental control.
6) My child often uses screens to escape from real-life problems or stress.
When children frequently turn to screens to escape from real-life problems or stress, it can signal the application of risky coping mechanisms. Using screens as a distraction from emotional issues or conflicts can prevent them from developing important problem-solving and emotional regulation skills. This habit might also lead to more dependency on digital devices for comfort.
What can be done:
Encourage your child to express their feelings and guide them toward healthier coping strategies like physical activity, mindfulness, or creative hobbies. Avoid harsh judgment, as they may not have been exposed to better methods of coping. Children often mimic the behaviours of those around them, and turning to online activities can be their version of escape, similar to adults turning to substances. Some children even use online distractions to avoid more harmful behaviours. Our goal should be to reduce the stress and challenges they face, so they don't feel the need to escape in the first place.
7) My child doesn’t engage in as much physical activity compared to time spent on screens.
When screen time outweighs physical activity, it can negatively affect your child's health, contributing to issues like weight gain, poor posture, and decreased energy levels. Physical activity is essential for both physical and mental development, helping to improve mood, focus, and overall well-being.
What can be done:
Encourage your child to participate in at least 60 minutes of physical activity each day, through activities like sports, outdoor play, or family walks and biking. Find inspiring stories or teen role models who promote healthy, balanced lifestyles, including influencers involved in wellness activism. Ensure these examples align with your child's interests and avoid promoting harmful norms like body shaming or the "cult of the body," focusing instead on overall well-being and enjoyment.
8) My child developed unhealthy eating habits associated with screen use (snacking while using screens).
Snacking while playing games or otherwise using screens can lead to mindless eating and unhealthy food choices. This behaviour is linked to increased caloric intake, which can contribute to weight gain, poor digestion, and other health issues.
What can be done:
Encourage screen-free meals and snacks, promoting mindful eating habits where children focus on their food. Offer healthier snack options and set clear rules about when and where eating is allowed.
9) My child doesn’t have many friends outside their online life.
Having friends outside of the online world is essential for developing social skills and emotional intelligence. If a child mainly interacts online and has limited or no offline friends, they may miss out on important face-to-face social interactions and experiences that contribute to their overall well-being.
What can be done:
Encourage your child to engage in activities that promote real-world social interactions, such as joining clubs, sports teams, or community groups. Create opportunities for them to meet peers in non-digital settings and support their involvement in offline hobbies and interests. Be interested in how it came to be that they built fewer offline connections. Do they need help to build courage or some other skills? It might be tough to go through life with only a little feeling of belonging. It’s no surprise they try to get some acceptance and belonging at least online. And at least they have that. Help your child to find their social strength or a safe place to help them develop it, such as cooperating with a psychotherapist, teenage group therapy or community. The most important thing is to be there for them as they go through the hardship.
Excessive internet use is linked to many other issues, such as FOMO, social networks, cyberbullying, or online gaming. Stay informed about these issues so that you can help your children with their problems. Even if your child doesn’t show any signs of excessive internet usage, you should still discuss these things with them and point out possible risks and their consequences. Always focus on open and respectful communication and creating a safe environment for your child.
